Tuesday, May 26, 2009

More Identify Theft

The Mariners' name is not the only thing that was stolen. Their lack of originality and criminal tendencies continue to manifest themselves in their selection of jerseys. Some consider them to be one of the best in the AIFA. Well, yeah, they are the best if you are a fan of flinching!

Don't believe me. Take a look for yourself:

That's right. The St. Louis Rams are the next victim of the Mariners reckless disregard for the law.

What confuses me however, is why the Mariners would choose to steal from two of worst franchises in pro sport over the past two seasons. In 2008, The Rams went 2-12 and the Mariners went 61-101. However, many of those losses can be attributed to the respected teams suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.

Even more confusing, is that in the NFL and MLB there are so many teams with great histories. Why would they choose from two of the worst? Why not be the Baltimore Yankees, and have jerseys that look like the Patriots? Picking the Rams and the Mariners is the equivalent of breaking into a Wal-Mart, and stealing a waffle-maker and a grocery bag.

The Armor on the other hand have very stylish uniforms, which are 100% original.

The black goes so well, with, umm, the black. Furthermore, the Armor pay homage to the original days of football, when there were no names on the back of the jerseys, and the players had to share helmets.

So in conclusion, the Mariners suck and the Armor is great. It's only four days till kickoff, but who knows what else the Mariners will steal? Maybe they'll steal the Armor's ingenious business model of charging 20 dollars a ticket, and playing in a venue without air conditioning or clean bathrooms. Or maybe they'll just find another way to finish in the cellar of the division and miss out on a chance to play in the prestigious AIFA Bowl.


  1. Now THAT is fucking hilarious!

    "So in conclusion, the Mariners suck and the Armor is great."


  3. Then on saturday nite he will write a new blog from his hospital bed saying the Mariners kicked the Armours ass, and the Maniacs kicked mine. Maybe we can shove his head up Coach James big ass.